Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Just re-starting...

Oyyyy, I've started so many of these they seem so fragmented over the years. Angsty Xanga, Blogger, Wordpress, Blogger...I think I just need a new slate. I was reading some of the things I've written in the past and thought, hmm. I had some insights that I've forgotten about. Seems like I keep learning the same lessons over and over, but don't seem to always register... I'm pretty sure this inspired moment of blogging won't last for long -- it never does. There's something about writing all your thoughts down in a journal, with the tip of the pen scratching along neatly lined paper, that invokes an inner feeling unlike seeing words mechanically appear on a screen. Sort of like you're writing a secret down that nobody will ever know, and that makes it all the more deliciously sacred.

So I was telling a friend today that writing is strangely therapeutic, yes, but at the same time, it's hard for me to do if I'm not in a good mood. I think a lot of people are inspired by pain, regret, bitterness, to voice those words and see them form. It gives them clarity and insight. Not for me though. Somehow seeing it written down makes it all the more real and more troublesome to deal with.

Quite honestly, I've never really liked blogging before because I don't have much that I want to share or disseminate. The good writing, the kind that takes effort, I like to save for creative pieces. And those usually come when I'm inspired, in a good place. Somehow blogging about "life" seems mundane after a while. After all, how many times can you really write about the same things before it becomes way overplayed?

Current thoughts -- I've decided I need to be more decisive. Haha -- a good way to start? I terms of large issues, I suppose I can be decisive. But the little every day things, I really just let slide. Seems that having the power to make up your mind quickly would be useful, especially in the direction I'm heading.

We'll see how long this streak lasts!

Meanwhile, a good quote I've stumbled upon, "The heart has reasons that reason cannot know." - Blaise Pascal.